From the Alternate Reality Division

US General calls for bolder action to stop Christian Fundamentalist extremists-
Doha, Quatar (AFP)
A top US general called for bolder international action to stop the spread of Christian Fundamentalist extremism, suggesting curbs were needed to prevent the Internet and other media from being used by groups like Focus on the Family.

"Why is it that people have the right to get on the Internet and spread this hatred and insanity without there being some curb, some law?" said General John Abizaid, the chief of the US Central Command.

Well, I can dream, can't I? OK, so I substituted "Christian Fundamentalist" in place of General Wankenheimer's "Islamic". Man, but my irony gland is working overtime here. After 11/2, I persisted in thinking that what we had here was just a failure to communicate. It's so much more than that. What we have here is a failure to inhabit the same universe.

The reality of this story beggars the imagination. The Freepers love making fun of Hollywood types who mix politics with celebrity - but just because a guy wears camo, I'm supposed to believe he's a genius? Um, "Rambo", anyone? Anyone?

Here's the deal. It seems that General Shitforbrains isn't too fond of the First Amendment. I know, I know, it doesn't apply outside the US. But, you would fucking think that a poo-bah in the US Military, a group charged with bringing "freedom and democracy" to those benighted peasants in Iraq / Afghanistan / (fill in next week's humanitarian invasion here), if he had enough brains to pound fucking sand in a rathole, would at least bother to know what the fuck he was talking about. Oh, wait, I forgot. His CiC is Slappy McAsshat. Nevermind.

So, General, we've single-handedly invaded another country with no provocation, and against International Law, and without UN approval, with not one fucking scintilla of evidence that Big, Bad Saddam had anything to do with 9/11. OK, with ya so far. Hmm, we've also "kicked the Taliban's ass" out of Afghanistan... but, kinda forgot to make sure that a stable government was in place to administer this fledgling McDemocracy. I thank you, and heroin addicts the world over who are getting high cheaper thank you, as well. As, I'm sure, does Osama Fucking Bin Laden, whose ass you were supposed to nail to a wall in the first place! Yes, I know, follow-through can be so inconvenient. Especially when it doesn't play well on Fox Newz.

And, having accomplished all of that in the last 3 years - now you tell us that all of this would have worked... if it hadn't been for those darned Islamic bloggers? Is it just me, or is he sounding like every bad guy in every episode of "Scooby Doo"? "And my plan would've worked, too... if it hadn't been for those pesky ragheads!" {shakes fist in air while being led away by strangely hunky cartoon cops}

Allow me to exercise my First Amendment rights, while I still fucking have them, and tell you directly, General Abizaid, that you sir, are a disgrace to your uniform, a disgrace to those you command, and the sooner somebody pulls your head out of your ass long enough to kick said ass up around your earlobes, the better off we'll all be.

Just imagine what the reaction here in the good ol' U S of A would have been if my first graph above had actually hit the papers. The sad part is, if the military can advocate for thought suppression in somebody else's back yard... how much easier it would be for them to make it come true in their own corner of the world.

Amazing that some people can watch "Dr. Strangelove" and think, "hey, yeah, that's the way the world should work."


Irony, How I love ya, How I love ya

So, I put this SiteMeter thingie on the bottom of the page. Which means I can actually count how many of you actually load this page into your browsers. I can also see what URL you came from... which is really interesting...

Especially this guy, whose claims to fame seem to be a) he's able to make some sort of sense out of sports stats, b) that he thinks they actually matter to anyone and c) his political views define him as being nothing more than a life support system for a gullet and a sphincter. And I am just shocked that he doesn't allow comments on his blog. Hmm.

I'm sure you can imagine my bemusement when I saw that URL in my "referrers" log. I guess that pesky "next blog" button has some unintended consequences. And I'm "bemused"? What the fuck is that all about? I should turn on Fox News for a minute to get my edge back.

For some reason, I also seem to be popular with manic depressives and guys flogging their mortgage refinancing business.


In the words of Hexacorde, who inexplicably has me listed in his blogroll, It sounds kinda cool, but actually it sucks.

God Hates 20/20

Matthew ShepardSometimes I amaze myself with my ability to not reach a certain optimum level of anger. Just when I think that there's no possible way that I could get even this much angrier... I'm proven wrong. ABC's "20/20", a POS program since Hugh Downs left, is airing an "expose" about Matthew Shepard's butchers, claiming that he wasn't killed for being gay.

Uh-huh. And I suppose next we'll uncover shocking new evidence that the World Trade Center was destroyed because it was blocking the view of Staten Island? Maybe Ann Frank was sent to the camps to improve her penmanship? Are these freaks for real?

Well, fuck 'em. Play revisionist history all you want. Nobody with even an ounce of intelligence is going to buy it. Which means that 51% of Amurkins are gonna be sitting in the squalor of their double-wide breeder castles tonight, all smug and sayin' to each other, "Well, ya see, they killed that faggot 'cuz they wanted his money. Shit, I always torture Cletus and tie him to a fence and leave him for dead when I need some meth-money, too. Pass the pork rinds."

Do me a favor - check some of the amazingly hateful posts on ABCs message board.

Over and over, people keep telling me that "they don't hate gay people, they just aren't 'comfortable'." Yeah? Fuck you. As a matter of fact, I'm starting my own pet meme: these wastes of protoplasm should now and forevermore be referred to as "Flaming Fundies". Yup. And worse, they're not content to pervert the word of God with their behavior, but they actively recruit children! That's fucking sick!

Where am I going with this? I don't fucking know, I'm so pissed right now that I think I could really use a drink. Or a shotgun. Maybe both.

Don't watch the show. Or, watch it if you have a strong stomach and a very high double-think threshhold. Email these motherfuckers and let them know what you think. And please do not buy into the "love the sinner, hate the sin" oral diarrhea. Trust me, when they're through vilifying us gay folk, they'll find another target. And I really don't want to have to sit next to a bunch of liberal philosophy professors in the the Gulag God's Universal Love And Generosity camp.

The Joys of Being Angry

They are many, and they are satisfying, in a bile-spraying sort of way. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my first rant ended up on someone else's blog...

That someone happens to be Loaded Mouth. I've had him on my (admittedly short and selective) blogroll since I first started this thing. Aside from the fact that he can spew bile and filth with the best of us, he's a Lefty to Like. Plus he's from Rhode Island, near my old stomping grounds in Beantown. Hopefully he pronounces "ever" as "evuh". Anyway, thanks LM - I really did this as therapy more than anything. Now that I know people actually read this drivel, I'll have to start maintaining higher standards. Like, maybe wiping the spittle off the monitor before posting. You know, shit like that.


Here's a thought

If you're in the San Diego area, why not take a spin by the San Diego Democratic Club. They've been around for a while, and they could use new blood. And tell them Angry Homo sent you.
Here's a blurb from the "History" section of their website:
SDDC was founded in late 1975 by a small but brave group of activists who saw a need for political activism within the Democratic Party. They struggled to find twenty people who would allow their names to be used on the application for the original charter, which was received from the San Diego County Democratic Party on December 28, 1975. But under the leadership of attorney Bob Lynn, the first president, the group quickly became involved in local politics.

At the time, homosexual activity was still illegal in California. No candidate had ever sought the support of the lesbian and gay community.

In its first races, the Club's endorsements were often more of a liability than an asset to a candidate, but even so, several friends were identified right away. Work began to educate candidates on LGBT issues and to educate the LGBT community on the need to be politically involved and to vote.

Yup. Outlawed, unloved and political neophytes - and they've persevered for 29 years. (For a bit of historical perspective: I myself was a 10 year old homo-in-the-making back in my home State of New Hampshire when these folks were taking big risks to make sure that I would be free to grow up to become the Fabulous Homo that I am. Now that the christofascists are gearing up for Crusade 2005, it's time to take a stand and take action, not only at the Federal level, but right here at home. Added bonus: Politically active gay guys are hot.


CIA - Langley Virginia, Land of Enchantment

Right Turn, Anyone?Well, it's official. Chimpy (or more accurately, his handlers) have decided that the CIA needs a shakeup - not because they gave him wrong intelligence, mind you, but because they gave him evidence of a world-view that he just doesn't believe in. Aren't facts inconvenient?

Here's the article from Newsday. Please be advised that for your convenience, airsickness bags are located in the seat pocket in front of you.

Turns out that the WH is taking all this "mandate" bullshit seriously... and as has been the modus operandi for sore winners since time began, they're using any method possible to punish those who disagree with them.

"The agency is being purged on instructions from the White House," said a former senior CIA official who maintains close ties to both the agency and to the White House. "Goss was given instructions ... to get rid of those soft leakers and liberal Democrats. The CIA is looked on by the White House as a hotbed of liberals and people who have been obstructing the president's agenda."

But this is more than just payback for "disloyal" CIA staff...

This is absolutely assuring that the fuckwads who were wrong about "WMD", who were wrong about a link between Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, who didn't notice when a whole assload of explosives went missing... it's these brainiacs who now are the only voice whispering in the administration's ear - and telling them exactly what they want to hear. If you thought Slappy McAsshat was unhinged from reality during the last four years... you haven't seen anything yet, my friends.


God and Sex

I have to admit, I don't always agree with NYT OpEd regular Nicholas D. Kristof, but in this particular editorial from 23.10.04, he seems to have an almost enlightened outlook.

Giving the Christofascists a lick with their own strop, Kristof questions the biblical validity of these cretin's homophobia.
In the New Testament, Matthew and Luke describe how Jesus cured the beloved servant of a centurion - and some scholars argue that the wording suggests that the pair were lovers, yet Jesus didn't blanch.

The religious right cites one part of the New Testament that clearly does condemn male homosexuality - not in Jesus' words, but in Paul's. The right has a tougher time explaining why lesbians shouldn't marry because the Bible has no unequivocal condemnation of lesbian sex.

A passage in Romans 1 objects to women engaging in "unnatural" sex, and this probably does mean lesbian sex, according to Bernadette Brooten, the author of a fascinating study of early Christian attitudes toward lesbians. But it's also possible that Paul was referring to sex during menstruation or to women who are aggressive during sex.
Of course, being objective about the Bible has never been the "Bearing My Cross" crowd's strong point. Amazing how one can pick and choose which of God's Laws are valid, and which are just inconvenient. Leviticus, anyone? Can't wait for James Dobson to start advocating for a Constitutional Amendment mandating that men who commit adultery must bring a sacrifice (say, a ram) to the door of the local temple. Shit, he doesn't even want Hindu prayers in Congress. Where's the outrage over adultery, Jimmy D? You couldn't even swing a dead cat in the center aisle up there on Capitol Hill without clocking a few prime examples.

So then, as has been pointed out, ad nauseum, there are as many interpretations of the Bible as their are pages in the dusty old tome. What makes the Fundies think theirs is the one true interpretation, open neither to criticism or refutation?

Simple answer: it's not about Biblical authority, it's about Power.

As long as the hysterical anti-gay folks on the right (Fred Phelps, for example) think that this is a bedrock issue, it will be. No amount of reasoning, dissuasion or screaming will ever penetrate their holier-than-all-of-y'all false piety. Give somebody a reason to hate, and they no longer need to reason. Simple, no?

And as long as the cynical Republican machine can possibly use this to their advantage, they will. They'll even co-opt willing Uncle Tom's Cabin... er, I mean LOG Cabin... Republicans who keep thinking "maybe if I don't act gay, they'll let me have a drink in the hospitality suite this time." After all, look at Ken Mehlman who as of this writing looks poised to take over as Chair of the RNC. Who said a gay Republican can't climb to the top over the backs of our community, spitting and cursing all the way? Oh, wait, it's not confirmed that he's gay. Hey, as long as they don't catch him sodomizing one of the interns, I guess he's ok in their book. A tame homo. How cute.

This is clearly one of the most extended rim-jobs in history. Determining just whose tongue is up whose shithole, I shall leave as an exercise for the class.


Angry Homo

I can hear you already. "Why do you have to call it 'Angry Homo'? Why can't it just be 'Concerned Gay Guy' or 'Conversations with a member of the LGBT Community', or maybe even 'Not All Gay Folks Are Great Decorators'?"

Fuck that. And fuck anybody who even thinks about placating the 'non-confrontational' buttwipes. I'm not here to make peace. I'm not here to engage in a "dialogue" (how I fucking hate that use of the word. Come the Revolution(tm), Social Workers will have a lot to answer for.) To deliberately misquote Scarlett O'Hara, "As God is my witness, I shall never be an Apologist again".

Angry? You fucking bet I'm angry. And before I start hearing from the Language Police; guess what? I don't give a fuck! As a matter of fact, "fuck" happens to be a perfectly good Anglo-Saxonism by way of a Germanic root (don't believe me? read this. Go ahead. I'll wait.)

Great. Now then, there are plenty of things in this world more obscene than a mere word. Torture? Obscene. Fascism? Obscene. Poverty? Obscene. Corporate control of the media, the government and every other facet of public life? Anyone? Venture a guess? Yes, indeed. Fucking obscene. So for those of you who can't look past language to actually pay attention to the concept being communicated... go back to watching PAX TV and let the rest of us with a functioning fucking brain get on with it.

Still with me? Good. Please keep up, no dawdling, and I will not repeat the salient points for those of you with the attention span of the average Fundamentalist "Christian". Yes, "Christian". In quotations. These folks have swerved so far from the actual teachings of Jesus, you'd think they'd been reading a 3rd-hand copy of a Klingon translation of a Chinese adaptation of a Braille version of a Comedy Central edition of the King James Bible. With illustrations by Salvador Dali.

Please, please, don't run for the hills. Mainly because if lightning's gonna strike, it'll find ya there too. This is not going to be a continuing rant-site against the Christofascists. I've got plenty of fish to fry; it just so happens that the little "fish" sticker on the back of their SUV is one of them. But by no means the only one.

Those poor souls who know me, know that I've always been opinionated...

{no, really? we never noticed...}

Shutthefuckup. As I was saying, I've always had opinions, and I've always been aware of politics, if not always politically active. OK, so I worked on Dick Snelling's reelection campaign for governor of Vermont in the early 80's (only because he was going to keep the drinking age at 18... never let it be said that I don't have priorities.) and I worked for the ad agency that did the media for Joe Brennan's (failed) run for another term as Maine's governor in 1994. But I've never been one of those people who watches C-SPAN for fun. Don't think I ever will be one, actually, but then again some of those book discussions are mighty compelling.

But what brought all this on was Black Tuesday. Yup, the so-called "election" of Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004.

More on the shenanigans of the voting process later. But, bottom line, I stared at the results and thought...

"Fuck. Me."

OK. So, 11 states passed anti-marriage laws (some of which also went so far as to overturn domestic partner benefits offered by individual cities. More on that anon). So, the Worst. President. Ever. squeaked by and posted another "victory" (again, more anon).

The worst part for me (and after all, it's all about me; being a card-carrying Progressive has its solipsistic perks) was realizing that a working majority of the residents of this country had literally lost their fucking minds.

Now then, those aforementioned poor souls who know me...

{shh... don't say anything and he won't yell at us again...}

Stopthefuckingwhispering. These rather chatty poor souls know that there's one thing that I absolutely will not suffer. Not gladly. Not, in fact, at all.

Sheer. Fucking. Stupidity.

Stu*pid"i*ty, n. [L. stupiditas: cf. F. stupidit['e].] 1. The quality or state of being stupid; extreme dullness of perception or understanding; insensibility; sluggishness.

Fundamentalist "Christians"? yup.
Log Cabin Republicans? oy.
"Security Moms"? stop sniffing the Lemon Pledge.
The "I don't do politics" crowd? Great. Save me a space next to you at the Gulag.

Please note, that stupidity is not the same as ignorance.

Ig"no*rance, n. [F., fr. L. ignorantia.] 1. The condition of being ignorant; the want of knowledge in general, or in relation to a particular subject; the state of being uneducated or uninformed.

Yeah, I'm probably preaching to the choir at this point; the ever-elusive "undecided voter" turned out to be the "willfully moronic voter who just wanted the election to be over with so it didn't interfere with Supermodel Fear Factor."

But bottom line, it'll make me feel better. And after all, isn't that what being a Progressive is all about?