From the Alternate Reality Division

US General calls for bolder action to stop Christian Fundamentalist extremists-
Doha, Quatar (AFP)
A top US general called for bolder international action to stop the spread of Christian Fundamentalist extremism, suggesting curbs were needed to prevent the Internet and other media from being used by groups like Focus on the Family.

"Why is it that people have the right to get on the Internet and spread this hatred and insanity without there being some curb, some law?" said General John Abizaid, the chief of the US Central Command.

Well, I can dream, can't I? OK, so I substituted "Christian Fundamentalist" in place of General Wankenheimer's "Islamic". Man, but my irony gland is working overtime here. After 11/2, I persisted in thinking that what we had here was just a failure to communicate. It's so much more than that. What we have here is a failure to inhabit the same universe.

The reality of this story beggars the imagination. The Freepers love making fun of Hollywood types who mix politics with celebrity - but just because a guy wears camo, I'm supposed to believe he's a genius? Um, "Rambo", anyone? Anyone?

Here's the deal. It seems that General Shitforbrains isn't too fond of the First Amendment. I know, I know, it doesn't apply outside the US. But, you would fucking think that a poo-bah in the US Military, a group charged with bringing "freedom and democracy" to those benighted peasants in Iraq / Afghanistan / (fill in next week's humanitarian invasion here), if he had enough brains to pound fucking sand in a rathole, would at least bother to know what the fuck he was talking about. Oh, wait, I forgot. His CiC is Slappy McAsshat. Nevermind.

So, General, we've single-handedly invaded another country with no provocation, and against International Law, and without UN approval, with not one fucking scintilla of evidence that Big, Bad Saddam had anything to do with 9/11. OK, with ya so far. Hmm, we've also "kicked the Taliban's ass" out of Afghanistan... but, kinda forgot to make sure that a stable government was in place to administer this fledgling McDemocracy. I thank you, and heroin addicts the world over who are getting high cheaper thank you, as well. As, I'm sure, does Osama Fucking Bin Laden, whose ass you were supposed to nail to a wall in the first place! Yes, I know, follow-through can be so inconvenient. Especially when it doesn't play well on Fox Newz.

And, having accomplished all of that in the last 3 years - now you tell us that all of this would have worked... if it hadn't been for those darned Islamic bloggers? Is it just me, or is he sounding like every bad guy in every episode of "Scooby Doo"? "And my plan would've worked, too... if it hadn't been for those pesky ragheads!" {shakes fist in air while being led away by strangely hunky cartoon cops}

Allow me to exercise my First Amendment rights, while I still fucking have them, and tell you directly, General Abizaid, that you sir, are a disgrace to your uniform, a disgrace to those you command, and the sooner somebody pulls your head out of your ass long enough to kick said ass up around your earlobes, the better off we'll all be.

Just imagine what the reaction here in the good ol' U S of A would have been if my first graph above had actually hit the papers. The sad part is, if the military can advocate for thought suppression in somebody else's back yard... how much easier it would be for them to make it come true in their own corner of the world.

Amazing that some people can watch "Dr. Strangelove" and think, "hey, yeah, that's the way the world should work."


Blogger Kate said...

Do you remember the general (was it Boynton? or Bolton?) that got in trouble for preaching the Word? Seems he was donning his uniform and speaking from the pulpits across America about the urgency to spread Christianity to the "heathens of the middle east." He also couldn't help himself during press conferences when he was on duty IN the middle east.

I think the only reason he got into trouble was -- he got caught. It's not that the administration doesn't agree with him, it's that, while in uniform, in front of the devoted and the press corps, he said it outloud.

Kate S., Alaska

12/02/2004 11:44 AM  

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