1.17.2005

Absinthe Makes the Heart grow Fonder

Well, it had to happen. After almost two months in self-enforced solitary confinement, I have, to quote Gen. Douglas MacArthur, returned. Please try to keep the cheers down to a dull roar. And how have I been occupying my time? I hear you ask. Yes, I can hear you. Amazing what they can do with SP2, innit?

Well, like most of the rest of you, I have been looking on in apalled bemusement as the Bushistas try to spin. They're way too much like that plate-spinner guy on the old Ed Sullivan Show... the more plates go up, the more that will inevitably come down. It just frosts my fanny that the innocent will pay, while those actually responsible continue to fiddle whilst the fire is lapping at the door.

Did I just use "whilst" in a sentence? Must be withdrawal...


What's that? Oh, he didn'thave any WMDs? No connection with "Al Qaeda", huh? Well, if I were you, I'd not worry my pretty little head over something as inconsequential as civil war, starvation, murder and torture... we've got more important things to consider... why did she break it off with Brad? Was it Angelina? A mystery woman? Now, that's really important.

But, not to worry... now that we've destabilized the situation in a manner akin to sticking a sharp stick into the business end of a hornet's nest, there are more draftees for the Jihad than ever before. Perhaps we should give them all a 2-year subscription to Entertainment Weekly to get them in the swing of things.

Sorry to beat a dead horse. You've all read the story, so I'm not even going to go to the trouble of counting it. Let's just say, I have a feeling I'll be getting quite a lot of reading done between now and June of 2008.

And for those keeping score at home, the Xmas show was a hit. I'm a certified celeb here in my adopted home town. Of course, I also think that Donald Rumsfeld is, in actuality, the Tooth Fairy.

Now that's a mental image I could well have done without. Please accept my apologies... I prescribe 30 minutes of really bad porn and a cherry cobbler to help you cope with the trauma.